The Augment
 |
| I got this from here. |
Youngsters
at
multifarious age prattled everywhere at every possible corner of the room.
An adult, with her formal white attire that accented her personality and professionalism,
stood with a gait that clearly expresses irascibility building up inside her.
The crowd seems trenchant and vigorous with their updates, forgetting every bit
of responsibility they ought to do. The adult made her approaching move and I can only see scribbles that I couldn't decipher. With each stroke pressed
by the temporary blue marker against the board, the irritable noise grew
softer. Then finally, by the time the finishing stroke had been made, the sound
cease to continue.
The youngsters, finally pacified,
stared back and forth at the adult and the board. Each of the youngster’s face
began to shift responsively. Some with amazement, some with a sarcastic look,
and others with the ‘I don’t care look.’ The teacher smirked, cleared her
throat, and enunciated the extremely difficult equation which filled the whole
board. Sighs, eyes rolling, and taps on various objects are made by the dozen
of pupils that sat on the black plastic table-chair being immured by white
cement walls. They are helplessly waiting for their time to be liberated from
this room.
 |
| I got this from here. |
For a very
brief moment everything was tranquilized. Harmony filled the room. Then,
peace was interrupted by the sound of the wild yelling at a weary student that
was dreaming and unaware of the circumstances. People flinched as if a lion had
escaped the circus. Not long after the incident, pungent smells of spices and variety
of food drifted across the room, spreading everywhere.
Gratuitous crisp sound of people
chewing snacks, gums, and other kind of food was amplified. The students
satiated their appetites with enjoyment. The restless
teacher frowned, but was too tired to do anything. She became submissive, and
then waded lifelessly to her desk and slept. Sounds began to fill the room, and
as ever, impossible to decipher. It went on for a quarter of an hour. The
brazen vibrations of red round bell clang that signals the end of the
period. Students hastily ran out of the class to begin their weekend at various
rendezvous.
Then a sweet loving sound at the
teacher’s rear echoed “You look tired honey,” “let’s go.” She perked her head up;
eyes sparkled like never before and rubbed her eyes. She saw vague image of a
man with a formal neck-tie and a smart looking suit with a tag that read “Principal”
on it. She was astonished. The man offered her a hand and she gladly accepts it. Her energy is being rejuvenated. Then, for the first time in her life,
she proceeded to walk out of the class happily and unexhausted ready to begin the exciting
adventures of her weekend.
SAT words. Expected from a 4.00 student like you. GREAT JOB. The choice of words you chose describes the event to a whole new level, it makes the article seem that someone mature has written it. The vividness of the image this article has given still has not faded from my mind. AWESOME.
ReplyDelete-Chayanat V. P8
Thank you Best, that really keeps me going forward!
DeleteAs expected from Anucha, you'd get to read a real quality writing. I felt like I just read a writing from a professional writer. The word to describe your writing is "WOW". Very professional, very clear, great use of words, flawless. Reading this takes me inside the place itself.
ReplyDelete- Apiwat Narkhan Period 8
Flawless? That's too much of a flatter! Well, I appreciate your sincere comment. I will try to improve it even more.
DeleteAgreed with Best V, BUT, a BIGGGG BUTTTT !! your vocabs are seemingly level 7 here, but the appropriateness of the usage is 2/10. "Gait" is to describe the way people walk, clearly, not how they stand. "Chairs, projector....are not responsible for the sound", seriously?! immeasurable amount of numbers, seriously?! "Then, peace was interrupted by the sound of the wild yelling at a weary student that was dreaming and unaware of the circumstances," WTH, not smooth transition leiii !! "commencement of the period" ? 'commence" is the beginning, not the end...come on !! i get what u want to say, my man, but the images was clouded by your verbose choice of word, from a descriptive writing, it's just like bunch of SAT vocabs and hard vocabs put together. But otherwise, it's fine, very descriptive, sood yord lork !!
ReplyDeleteYour comment actually does make a difference ! You spotted that adjunct I forced my way through the paragraph! Yes! I will delete the portion that made the transition not smooth. My usage will have to be revised Thank you.
DeleteReading through this, questions and questions popped into my head. Just reading the title makes me wonder, "What's an Augment?". But using context clue and my shallow knowledge of vocabulary, I could understand what this whole spectator sport means.
ReplyDeleteThere were some parts that's kind of like weird. "For a very brief moment everything was tranquilized. Harmony filled the room." I don't know, but it might be better if you just wrote "For a very brief moment, everything was silent." Because harmony could mean something like a good sound. Someone reading this might think that Prin might be trying to sing an acapella to calm everyone down.
-Tanat Boozayaangool Period 1
Oh I didn't really notice your comment! Well good context clue! Ok, it might not paint a picture to you but I will try to make it more lucid; that is to elucidate it!
DeleteIn my opinion, I felt like you're forcing yourself to write. It does not really come out from your heart and your flow. In other words, It is not FLUENT and SMOOTH. Well, what I've read is just like the uncomfortable essay... you tried to push yourself to put unnecessarily SAT words.
ReplyDeleteI suggest, do not try to be Shakespeare or some professionalized writer. Just be you. Be yourself (well, I don't quite know that you're forcing yourself with these words or not). Do not try to make your words fluent with, or else, it would make it even worse. Too much of something isn't good. It must be balanced... Just don't make your words difficult...
You also must think about your readers too...Although, they would want a formal beautifully written english, they wouldn't want it to be like an SAT, TOEFL, or IELTS! Make your writings enjoyable! :D
-Vanantorn S.
Seem like force, yes! I have come to thnk that I do not have to use every word that will make the essay not readable. If the readers can not read, it is useless right? haha Thanks!
DeleteAnucha..Wow. The words that you used were amazing, some were quite hard to understand, but over all it is an interesting writing indeed. I can imagine myself being in the class, one of the students, and also felt the exhaustion of the teacher. However, maybe you could lessen the use of some vocabs which may be required in some particular writing, and make this even more interesting to read! This is a great work, but who knows, you can improve it even more that way, perhaps. Other than that, I like your writing, and keep it up! :)
ReplyDelete-Regina Hutagalung, P8
Exhausted in writing too in fact! Forces yeah, vocabulary, yes! I will have to lessen it.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, what I want to say is pretty much the same as what others said. You used vocabulary words that were over an average 10th grader's range, so it was quite hard to understand. You may tell me to go look those words up in a dictionary but I am lazy :)
ReplyDeleteI think this was really creative and you expressed things in a professional way (which is why I couldn't understand since I'm not even half of a professional). Anyways, I can see that you have worked on vocabulary words that will help you score a high one on aptitude tests. Keep up the good work :)
Thank you Andee. I also will comment pretty much the same as other people. :D
DeleteAs I expected, you used the vocabulary that is not usually used in normal conversations. This is supposed to be a good thing, but honestly, in your writing, as Vanantorn said, they seemed forced. The writing is quite impressive and all, but the words you used didn't always match the feel of the sentence. It seemed professional, but at the same time unprofessional. I hope that makes sense. Don't force yourself into it. Just keep it simple, and creative. At some points, I was just like "What is he trying to say?". However, I enjoyed it. Keep it up! :)
ReplyDeleteOk, I will try to simplify and smoothen my words. I will try not to make fragments that disrupt the idea of the sentence.
DeleteOh wow. First impression of this blog entry is that it's really, really long. I would like to praise you for all the effort of finding bombastic words. You are capable of writing such as the above. But to me, whose vocabulary skills aren't really high, it's just too much for me to open the dictionary for the hard words in this blog entry. I mean, I didn't want to offend you, but I'm just giving you an opinion that you should lessen the use of 'college vocabularies' since not all people know the 'college vocabularies' like you do. Great blog entry anyways. Keep it up.
ReplyDelete-Parima Chaiwarut (P1)
Ok, thank you very much Prim. I will try to lesson my ''college vocabs.'' :D
DeleteWOW! I'm really impressed by your blog. And as many others people expect from you, your writing never disappoints anyone. You really describes so many details about that situation. I even have to find most of the words you used in the dictionary LOL. You used so many hard words! However, it's nice.
ReplyDelete- Kanyarak K. (P1)
Thank you Kanyarak, I will try to improve more and more from your comments and simplify those that would make the paragraph seem smooth.
DeleteHey Anucha!! Your writing has gone too far for me to understand, thanks to the help of the dictionary, I understood more. Your descriptive words tends to describe almost everything. I like your passage very much, especially when you did not tell what's the location but we could tell where it is, that's the good part. Very good, keep it up!!
ReplyDelete-Tawin Kunattanond p8
Thank you Tawin, I really appreciate your comment. However very few changes and flaws can be changed from your comment. Still, I appreciate it, thank you.
DeleteAs usual your words are gone far beyond my knowledge and it will use years for me to be in that level, good job on describing your essay impressive and spectacular words using. Its kind of awkward commenting on your essay. But anyway Thanks for making me having many question mark while i read your essay hahaa, Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThank you, as I comment here I also feel a little awkward. Most of the people prefer me to change my vocabulary, but I will be persistant to some that I think will fit best.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, you are genius. I cannot understand your essay without using dictionary. Your words are too difficult for me to understand. I had a hard time to understand your essay. But when I understood it, it is a great essay. Your writing skill is superlative. Your writing skill is much much much more higher than me. Between, Thanks for sharing a great essay.
ReplyDeleteNorawich P6
DeleteThank you Norawich, I really appreciate your compliments. Hard work pays after all those years of gathering the extra vocabularies. However, I can only make some of the changes to the words, very few.
DeleteAnyway thanks for your comment.
Then comes along the fellow with the least effort put into coming up with a glance-worthy comment~ haha.
ReplyDeleteHello mate!
Well first of all, I didn't expect any less from the likes of you, haha.
The sentences in this piece of writing were very well constructed, some may have been loose here and there, but in the end it delivered radiant emotions.
As stated by some of the previous commentators, the words that you use certainly derive from a level far beyond that of my own.
Secondly, as a reader, I certainly had a remarkable time skimming through each and every sentence of this marvelously constructed paragraph.
Job well done, best of wishes to you sir, you're definitely awesome.
But do remember this!
Do not, in any way, let what the community expects of you fool you of who you really are or who you wish to be.
Such as those occasional moments where people go "as expected of Anucha!" "that's Anucha for you!".
Avoid being overwhelmed by the positive/negative responses that you receive and just believe in your piece of writing and do what you believe is the right thing to do.
Just because the community expects a lot from you, doesn't mean you have to force yourself, but then again, if all of this positive feedback on your fine creation strengthens your motivation even further, by all means, continue writing!
Because you certainly possess great potential.
Overall, I do enjoy reading your pieces, continue on each day maintaining this excellent pace, and cya around mate.
^^b
Thanks Edwin, I am trying not to force myself. Thanks for your sincere comment and compliments as well. I really would like to change my vocab level and sometimes I prefer to maintain it just the way it is.
DeleteI will take your comment and change some of the words that may fit better and draws a picture to the readers.
You have 30 comments??? I mean, including yours that is. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThank you ma'am and so as the rest who all commented !
ReplyDelete